作者簡(jiǎn)介：
賈金桃（網(wǎng)名：桃李成蹊）。她是桃李文化傳媒創(chuàng)刊人、總裁，某航空飛行器制造企業(yè)董事長(zhǎng)。她是一個(gè)充滿儒雅、智慧的知識(shí)型女企業(yè)家，她又是一個(gè)頗具文學(xué)造詣、有情懷和擔(dān)當(dāng)?shù)奈膶W(xué)人。她在文海拾貝，商海遨游，創(chuàng)作并發(fā)表了大量的詩歌、散文等文學(xué)作品?，F(xiàn)創(chuàng)建桃李文化傳媒，致力于文企融合、勇攀文學(xué)高峰。
清明時(shí)節(jié)話凄涼
——祭奠母親逝世十周年
作者｜賈金桃（中國(guó)）
英譯｜靜好（英國(guó)）
審譯｜任誠(chéng)剛（中國(guó)）
合誦｜平文、楓韻（中）、薇薇（英）
導(dǎo)語和音頻｜云朵（中國(guó)）
薦稿｜高溪溪（澳大利亞）
“慈烏失其母，啞啞吐哀音。
晝夜不飛去，經(jīng)年守故林。”
這首白居易的《慈烏夜啼》總讓我淚奔，我仿佛就是那只失去母親的“慈烏”，“夜夜夜半啼，聞?wù)邽檎唇蟆?。年年清明，今又清明。轉(zhuǎn)眼間，母親去世已十年了，追憶緬懷之情在這清明時(shí)節(jié)愈發(fā)令我悲痛不已。
何謂清明？山水同在為“清”，日月同在為“明”，一個(gè)“同”字，道盡了天地秘密。無水之山少了情韻，無山之水少了風(fēng)骨；無日之月少了熱烈，無月之日少了溫柔；水因山不濁，山因水不枯；日因月不烈，月因日不晦。這一切，都在一種“大同”之中實(shí)現(xiàn)了，這便是人間“清明?！?/p>
清明節(jié)是作為一個(gè)特殊的孝道文化的節(jié)日，上墳祭祖追懷先人已成了既古老又現(xiàn)代的一種傳統(tǒng)，這一傳統(tǒng)體現(xiàn)了人們“慎終追遠(yuǎn)”的思想，更是一種孝道的顯現(xiàn)。清明節(jié)是最適合懷念的，我情不自禁地沉浸在這悲傷的節(jié)日里。母親的音容笑貌歷歷在目，對(duì)母親的所有回憶都已融入了我的血脈里，對(duì)于我來說，這才是紀(jì)念母親的最好方式。
母親的一生充滿傳奇，她四歲時(shí)就淪為童養(yǎng)媳，17歲時(shí)成了父親的“戰(zhàn)利品”。那時(shí)父親才21歲，他不僅是一名共產(chǎn)黨員，還是農(nóng)會(huì)主席，帶領(lǐng)勞苦大眾打土豪分田地，在一地主老財(cái)家解救了母親，并經(jīng)黨組織批準(zhǔn)，娶母親為妻。母親雖沒有文化，但明事理，識(shí)大體，我們姊妹七人都是由母親哺育成人的，父親因工作繁忙，很少顧家，只在“大是大非”的問題上對(duì)我們進(jìn)行“概念性教育”。關(guān)于母親平凡而偉大的一生，不是在清明節(jié)時(shí)寥寥數(shù)語可以道完的，我早就有一個(gè)心愿，待將來賦閑時(shí)，要為母親寫一部《回憶錄》，既是對(duì)母親的懷念，也為撫慰自己那顆疼痛的心，這也是我能為母親做的唯一的事情了。雖然我已不能將母親走過的路再走一遍，但我能用文字穿越母親一生的生命軌跡。
我贍養(yǎng)母親數(shù)十載，一切都以“最好的”作為標(biāo)準(zhǔn)，滿足母親的所有心愿，讓母親安享晚年生活，若母親身體稍有不適，我便會(huì)十分重視，連傷風(fēng)感冒也不敢輕忽。盡管我再小心翼翼地侍奉，母親終究還是病倒了，她于2012年初夏突患腦溢血，三天后竟溘然長(zhǎng)世，享年85歲。我在醫(yī)院陪母親度過了最后一個(gè)夜晚，我和母親說了一夜的話，我知道母親最牽掛的是她的子女兒孫，我知道她要我繼續(xù)照顧他們，我貼在母親的耳邊一遍又一遍地重復(fù)著我的諾言。母親雖已不能說話，但她能聽得見我說話，兩滴晶瑩的淚珠凝結(jié)在眼角，久久不肯落下。我知道母親連流淚的力氣都沒有了，這兩滴淚珠是母親對(duì)這個(gè)世界最后的眷戀，也是母親對(duì)我最后的囑托、最后的愛！
母親是在我的懷里走的，而我是從媽媽的懷中來的，這也許是一種圓滿的生命輪回吧。
母親走后，我終日以淚洗面，陷入哀痛中不能自拔。母親去世后不久便是中秋節(jié)，我在月光下遙祭母親，凝望著母親的遺像傷心欲絕。曾記得，那一夜我哭得撕心裂肺，哭累了便和衣而睡，迷迷糊糊的進(jìn)入了夢(mèng)鄉(xiāng)。夢(mèng)里：母親身著白底藍(lán)花襯衫，發(fā)間別了一朵野菊花，她站在一束光里向我微笑，滿臉慈祥。我迫不及待地問母親：“媽媽，您在天上還好嗎？您和爸爸在一起嗎？” 。還沒等我說完，媽媽就急切地對(duì)我說：“女兒啊，不要再想我了，我已經(jīng)找到了你爸爸，我們都很好，你就放心吧，我要走了，你要照顧好自己??！”
母親說完后轉(zhuǎn)身離去，那束光也消失了，我瘋狂地哭喊：“媽媽，媽媽，您不要走，不要走啊……”
這是一個(gè)真實(shí)的夢(mèng)境，這是媽媽離開后第一次在夢(mèng)中和我說的話，我一輩子都不會(huì)忘記！
夢(mèng)醒時(shí)分，我滿臉淚水，有些恍惚，分不清是夢(mèng)境還是現(xiàn)實(shí)，喃喃自語：“媽媽，你要常來看我，女兒好想您啊！”
說來也真是不可思議，自那次母親在夢(mèng)里說“女兒，不要再想我了?！敝?，我漸漸地從哀痛中走了出來，也逐漸恢復(fù)了正常的學(xué)習(xí)、工作和生活。也許是母親心疼我才在夢(mèng)里安慰我，或許是我怕母親擔(dān)心才努力地活成她希望的樣子。自那以后，母親時(shí)常與我在夢(mèng)中相見，我每次都戀戀不舍地看著她的背影消失在看不見的盡頭……
母親走后，我在每個(gè)夜里都藏著一份盼望，盼著徐徐夜風(fēng)能將我的思念捎給母親，盼望母親能在夢(mèng)里來看我。若在夢(mèng)里見不到母親，那夢(mèng)必是空無的、失望的，醒來后必定悵然若失。與母親永別后，夢(mèng)里相見，成了我最大的奢望和念想。
倘若萬象皆是縹緲，那我的悲痛又怎能換來與母親的今生一見？
媽媽，又到清明節(jié)了，我又會(huì)去祭拜您，但我害怕，我不敢親近您的墓碑，因?yàn)榕畠涸诘厣希诘叵?，一塊墓碑將您和我陰陽兩隔，我和您的距離隔著一塊冰冷的墓碑??！
媽媽，十年了，每年清明節(jié)時(shí)我都會(huì)來看您，每年都失望地幻想著那個(gè)等了又等的歸期。明知道您不可能歸途如虹，明知道您已找不到回家的路，但我還是癡癡的盼，固執(zhí)的等，哪怕從今生等到來世。
歲月用痕跡丈量著雨雪風(fēng)霜，陽光用穿透丈量著天高云深，而我對(duì)母親的深深思念之情又該如何去丈量??！
十年了，母親一去不返，十年生死兩茫茫，女兒無處話凄涼，無處話凄涼……
About the Loneliness on the Mourning Day
- Commemorating the Tenth Anniversary of the Passing Away of My Mother
By Jia Jintao (China)
Tr. Jinghao (UK)
Modified by REN Chenggang (China)
Reciter : Pingwen、 Fengyun in Chinese, Mary in English
Introduction: Yunduo (China)
Recommender: GAO xixi (Australia)
"The gentle crow lost his mother, Crying aloud in a mournful sound. Day and night he doesn’t want to leave, keeping his perch shadow is found. "
This song "Gentle Crow Crying in the Night" by Bai Juyi always makes me cry. I seem to be the "gentle crow" who lost his mother. On Mourning Day every year, now Mourning Day again. In the blink of an eye, it has been ten years since my mother passed away, and the memory of reminiscence is more and more saddening in this Mourning season.
What is Qingming? The coexistence of mountains and rivers means "Qing", and the coexistence of sun and moon means "Ming". Such a coexistence pours out the secret of the heaven and earth. A mountain without water is less romantic, a water without a mountain is less vigorous; a moon without a sun is less warm, and a sun without a moon accompanied is less gentle; water is not muddy because of mountains, and mountains are not dry because of water; the moon is not dark because of the sun. All of these have been realized in a kind of "Great Harmony", which is the "Qingming" of the world.
Tomb-sweeping Day is a special festival of filial piety culture. It has become an ancient and modern tradition to pay tribute to ancestors and cherish them. This tradition embodies people's idea of "be careful doing things and cherish the memories of ancestors", and it is also a manifestation of filial piety. Tomb-sweeping Day is the most suitable for nostalgia, and I can't help but immerse myself in this sad festival. My mother's voice, face and smile are vivid in my eyes. All the memories of my mother have been integrated into my blood. For me, this is the best way to remember my mother.
My mother's life is full of legends. She became a child bride at the age of four, and became my father's "trophy" at the age of 17. At that time, my father was only 21 years old. He was not only a member of the Communist Party, but also the chairman of the peasant association. He led the labouring masses to share the land with local tyrants, rescued my mother from an old wealthy landlord, and got the approval of the party organization to marry my mother. Although my mother is illiterate, she is sensible and has general knowledge. Our seven sisters are all raised by our mother. My father was busy with his work and rarely took care of our family, only "conceptually educate" us on "big right and big wrong" issues. About my mother's ordinary and great life, I can't finish it in a few words on this Mourning Day. I have long had a wish to write a "memoir" for my mother when I am idle in the future. It is not only a memory of my mother, but also something to soothe my aching heart. This is the only thing I can do for my mother. Although I can’t walk again on the same road as my mother walked, I can use words to traverse the trajectory of my mother's life.
I have supported my mother for decades, and everything is based on the "best" standard, to satisfy all my mother's wishes, and to let her enjoy her old age, if my mother is a little unwell, I will pay attention to it, even she just got a cold, I will pay great attention. Despite my careful service, my mother eventually fell ill. She suffered a cerebral hemorrhage in the early summer of 2012, and died three days later at the age of 85. I spent the last night with my mother in the hospital. I talked to my mother all night. I know that what my mother cares about most is her children and grandchildren. I know that she wants me to continue to take care of them. I stick to my mother's ear again and again. Repeating my promise over and over again. Although my mother could no longer speak, she could hear me. Two crystal tears condensed in the corners of her eyes and refused to fall for a long time. I knew that my mother didn't even have the strength to cry. These two teardrops were my mother's last attachment to this world, my mother's last entrustment and my last love!
My mother died in my arms, and I came from my mother's arms. This may be a complete reincarnation of life.
After my mother passed away, I washed my face in tears all day long, and I was unable to extricate myself from grief. Shortly after my mother died, it was the Mid-Autumn Festival. I sacrificed to my mother in the moonlight, staring at the portrait of my mother, heartbroken. I once remembered that night I cried so hard that I was tired from crying, so I slept with my clothes on, and fell asleep in a daze. In the dream: My mother was wearing a white shirt with blue flowers and a wild chrysanthemum in her hair. She stood in a beam of light and smiled at me, her face full of kindness. I couldn't wait to ask my mother: "Mom, how are you in the sky? Are you with dad together now?". Before I could finish speaking, my mother said to me eagerly: "Daughter, don't think about me anymore, I have found your father, we are all fine, don't worry, I'm leaving, you have to take care of yourself!"
After my mother finished speaking, she turned and left, and the light disappeared. I cried frantically: "Mom, mom, don't go, don't go..."
This is a real dream, this is the first time my mother said to me in a dream after she left, and I will never forget it for the rest of my life!
When I woke up from the dream, my face was full of tears, and I was in a trance. I couldn't tell whether it was a dream or reality. I muttered to myself, "Mom, you have to visit me often, your daughter misses you so much!"
It's really incredible. Since that time my mother said to me in a dream, "Daughter, don't think about me anymore." After that, I gradually came out of my grief and gradually returned to my normal study, work and life. Maybe it was because my mother loves me that she comforted me in my dreams, or maybe it was because I was afraid of my mother's worries that I worked hard to live the way she wanted. Since then, my mother has often met me in my dreams, and every time I reluctantly watched her back disappear into the invisible end...
After my mother left, I hold a hope every night, hoping that gentle night wind would pass my thoughts on to my mother, and hope that my mother would come to see me in my dreams. If I can't see my mother in the dream, the dream will be empty and disappointing, and I will be disappointed when I wake up. After saying goodbye to my mother, seeing each other in a dream has become my biggest extravagance and longing.
If everything is illusory, how can my grief be exchanged for seeing my mother once again in this life?
Mom, it's Mourning Day again, I will go to worship you again, but I am afraid, I dare not get close to your tombstone, because your daughter is on the ground, you are underground, a tombstone separates you and me, between you and me, the distance is separated by this cold tombstone!
Mom, it's been ten years, I've come to see you every year on Mourning Day, and every year I've been disappointed and fantasized about that long-awaited return date. I know that you can't return home like a rainbow, and I know that you can't find your way home, but I still hope and stubbornly wait, even if I wait for the next life from this life.
Years use traces to measure the rain, snow, wind and frost, sunlight measures the depth of the sky with penetration of height and thick clouds, but how should I measure my deep missing for my mother!
Ten years past, my mother has never returned, ten years have we been parted: The living and the dead hearing no news, your daughter has nowhere to say the desolate, nowhere to say the desolate...
英譯者簡(jiǎn)介：
靜好，原名王靜，英籍華人?，F(xiàn)任海外鳳凰詩譯社社長(zhǎng)兼總編、世界名人會(huì)榮譽(yù)社長(zhǎng)，作品散布在各網(wǎng)絡(luò)平臺(tái)及報(bào)刊雜志如《人民日?qǐng)?bào)》《中國(guó)詩刊》《國(guó)際日?qǐng)?bào)》等。多次獲獎(jiǎng)，中歐跨文化作家協(xié)會(huì)會(huì)員，聯(lián)合國(guó)《世界生態(tài)》雜志顧問。
Jinghao; real name: Wang Jing; a British Chinese; President and Editor-in-Chief of the Overseas Phoenix Poetry Translation Agency and honorary President of the World Celebrity Association; works found on various network platforms and newspapers and magazines such as "People's Daily", "Chinese Poetry", "International Daily", etc. Awarded many times; member of the China-Europe Cross-cultural Writers Association; consultant of the United Nations "World Ecology" magazine.
譯審教授簡(jiǎn)介：
任誠(chéng)剛，男，云南農(nóng)業(yè)大學(xué)外語學(xué)院英語教授；云南大學(xué)滇池學(xué)院客座教授。海外詩譯社副社長(zhǎng)、詩殿堂執(zhí)行主編、當(dāng)代先鋒文學(xué)社首席顧問、暮雪詩歌年鑒編委。主要從事MTI碩士研究生高級(jí)文學(xué)翻譯及英語專業(yè)翻譯理論與實(shí)踐課程教學(xué)。系中華（傳統(tǒng)）詩詞學(xué)會(huì)會(huì)員、云南省翻譯工作者協(xié)會(huì)理事；編著書籍：《旅美吟稿》（專著、1999）等6部。擅長(zhǎng)文學(xué)創(chuàng)作及翻譯，以詩歌韻譯見長(zhǎng)。
Ren Chenggang, male, Professor of English, College of Foreign Languages, Yunnan Agricultural University; Guest Professor of Dianchi College, Yunnan University; Vice-chairman of Overseas Phoenix Poetry Translation Society; Executive Editor of Poetry Hall; Chief Adviser of Contemporary Pioneer Literature; Editor and English Translator of Muxue Peotry. Mainly engaged in the teaching of Advanced Literature Translation for MTI and translation theory and practice for English majors. As a member of Chinese (traditional) Poetry Society and a council member of Yunnan Translators Association, he is the author of books Autographic Poetry in America ( 1999); etc. Be good at literary creation and translation, especially poetry rhymed translation.
特邀金牌中文女主播簡(jiǎn)介：
楓韻，胡艷琴，內(nèi)蒙古赤峰市朗誦協(xié)會(huì)會(huì)員。曾獲得詩意赤峰首屆朗誦大賽優(yōu)秀獎(jiǎng);曾獲得中央人民廣播電視臺(tái)第五屆“夏青杯"朗誦大賽赤峰地區(qū)總決賽三等獎(jiǎng)；曾獲得全民悅讀朗誦大會(huì)赤峰評(píng)選區(qū)一等獎(jiǎng)。喜歡攝影，愛好朗誦。用攝影的眼光尋求生活中的美，在詩情畫意中感悟人生，追求多彩生活。
特邀金牌中文男主播簡(jiǎn)介：
平文，張平文，內(nèi)蒙古赤峰市朗誦協(xié)會(huì)會(huì)員。曾獲得詩意赤峰首屆朗誦大賽優(yōu)秀獎(jiǎng);曾獲得中央人民廣播電視臺(tái)第五屆“夏青杯"朗誦大賽赤峰地區(qū)總決賽三等獎(jiǎng)；曾獲得全民悅讀朗誦大會(huì)赤峰評(píng)選區(qū)一等獎(jiǎng)。喜歡運(yùn)動(dòng)，愛好朗誦、唱歌。在詩意中感受美好生活，在詩意中尋求夕陽人生。
金牌英文主播簡(jiǎn)介：
黃薇薇，【海外詩譯社】三語主播。任職香港某私營(yíng)機(jī)構(gòu)國(guó)際業(yè)務(wù)部主管。
Mary Wong, engaged in international business with a private enterprise in Hong Kong.
導(dǎo)語和音頻合成者簡(jiǎn)介：
云朵，本名宋仙云，【海外詩譯社】副社長(zhǎng)兼中文主播；天津某國(guó)企退休干部。曾在大型國(guó)企從事過多年電視播音、編輯工作，經(jīng)常擔(dān)任各類活動(dòng)的主持。2018年參加濱海新區(qū)巔峰朗誦大賽獲得組合類一等獎(jiǎng)。
Yun Duo, whose real name is Song Xianyun, is a Chinese anchor of “Overseas Phoenix Poetry Translation society”；a retired cadre of a state-owned enterprise in Tianjin. She has been engaged in TV broadcasting and editing work in large state-owned enterprises for many years, and often served as the host of various activities. In 2018, she participated in the Binhai New Area Peak Recitation Competition and won the first prize in the combination category.
薦稿人簡(jiǎn)介：
高溪溪，現(xiàn)居悉尼，澳大利亞悉尼Seacapital中海國(guó)際地產(chǎn)公司顧問。【海外詩譯】營(yíng)銷副社長(zhǎng)和簽約作家，桃李文化傳媒平臺(tái)簽約作者。喜愛文字和文學(xué)，熱愛傳統(tǒng)與傳承，酷愛聽詩及品詩！喜歡用中文打撈我的詩意生活。
Gao Xixi, now living in Sydney, consultant of Seacapital China Overseas Real Estate Company in Sydney, Australia. 【Overseas Poetry Translation Society 】Vice President of Marketing and Signed Writer, Signed Writer of Taoli Culture Media Platform. Love words and literature, love tradition and inheritance, and love listening to and tasting poetry! I like to salvage my poetic life in Chinese.
注：海外詩譯和桃李文化傳媒長(zhǎng)期合作，《清明時(shí)節(jié)話凄涼》是由桃李文化傳媒推薦給海外詩譯，由海外詩譯雙語合誦制作發(fā)布，推向全球。
本期薦稿：高溪溪（悉尼）
本期總編：靜好（英國(guó)）
注：圖片來自網(wǎng)絡(luò)。
